Monday, March 27, 2017

From Himalayan Roads: Chapter Eight - Kathmandu

*I'm fast-forwarding through many details of the ride now. From now on I'll stick to the bigger events, rather than highlight something about every part of the ride. 


I’m overwhelmed. Again. Riding into Kathmandu was like being a sapling carried off in an avalanche. As soon as I rolled onto the first major street, I was engulfed by legions of motorcycles, cars, and cargo trucks kicking up clouds of dust and mixing it with exhaust and smoke. The only difference from India was the diminished number of cows. The chaos was just as frenetic, just as erratic, and all of it was ringing with one prevalent message:

You are nothing but a mere bit of detritus in the sloughing mountainside.

A great part of my discomfort with being sifted into the throngs of Kathmandu is that it destroyed my illusion of self-importance. We, the western, “independent” traveler, operate under the Homeric idea that we are undertaking some odyssey by coming to places like these, places that we have misinterpreted as “wild” (i.e. developing. i.e. poor. i.e. different). We construe the journey as an adventure, we profess great learning, we think we’re better than those who stayed home. You are reading evidence of this phenomenon right now. I’ve succumbed to all of these pitfalls in the last five hundred words. It’s the premise of this whole damn blog. It’s a philosophy rife with error.

But there’s hope. Yes, potential for “great learning”. Because Kathmandu doesn’t give a shit about you.

There’s too much going on. Even if I had a functional map, it wouldn’t matter. I pointed myself toward what I imagined was city center of the sprawling behemoth and I rolled with the masses. When they zigged, I zigged. Their zags were my zags. Were they headed where I was headed? No idea. But moving with them was all I could do. Breaking from the fray would mean standing against the avalanche; I’d be buried or killed (see, there’s that Odyssey byline again). I had to move with them, become one with them.

Of course, this Zen philosophy led me nowhere. I found myself on the opposite end of the city, far away from any place that could be considered a center. Apparently, Kathmandu is circumnavigable by a ring road. To follow the masses means to circle around and around, passing the same sights (I swear I’ve seen that concrete building before – That pile of bricks looks familiar – I definitely know that goat) until ultimately you have to abandon the pretext of Zen asceticism and aim for the center of the metropolitan merry-go-round.

Thamel. Not quite bullseye, but for all intents and purposes, specifically those of the western tourist persuasion, Thamel is a neighborhood that operates as basecamp in Kathmandu. It’s where you can sign up for a trek, watch a culture show, buy not-really-brand-name North Face outerwear at “best deal” from a hundred different shops, and spend five times the price on a chicken dal baht than you would anywhere else in the city. In a word: touristtrap. And it got its claws around me.

Thamel promised three things that I couldn’t argue with despite my vehement loathing of such places: one- a reprieve from being on the bike, two- a restaurant that served hamburgers, three- a restaurant that also served a good beer.

Oh how easily I slipped into being that American tourist. At an adjacent table in an expensive restaurant, a British couple who had just ordered from the Nepali section of the menu (“Right. One mutt’n tie-lee, and a side a crisps. And one chicken curry, not spicy. And a diet Coke.”) scoffed at the single American ordering “A hamburger and a beer, please. Kolsch.” I can imagine the conversation later: “Came all the way to Nepal just to eat an ‘amburger.”

Damn straight. After a year’s worth of chilies, cheese, rice, potatoes, and Druk 11000s, I felt like I earned that hamburger. And the recent nine-hour ride made the kolsch that much sweeter.

The trouble with my hedonistic excuse is that it carried over for four more days. Such is hedonism, I suppose. Americanos at the café down the street, Cesar chicken wraps at a lunch spot on the corner, blueberry cheesecake at another café, sizzling chicken and chocolate momos at a restaurant that I convinced myself wasn’t overpriced (at least by American standards). I was repeating the profligacy of Thimphu. I gorged, read, gorged some more, wrote a bit, and by the end of the fourth day I realized I needed to buy a trekking permit and a pass into the Annapurna range. I needed to do something other than stuff myself. I came out of my sweet and fat induced catatonia and got down to business.


The next stop was Pokhara, again, a tourist trap by all descriptions. I promised myself I’d stay there one full day before I’d head to a village to volunteer at a school for a few weeks. 

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